Growing up Jewish in America meant straddling two societies, living among two cultures. My childhood experiences vacillated between Jewish pride and respectful reticence. The Pennsylvania city where I spent my youth was home to a significant number of Jewish families, mostly professionals and merchants, who supported four synagogues and three kosher butchers. I was raised in a conservative kosher home, attended after-school Talmud Torah for eight years, and was active in youth groups like B’nai Brith and Daughters of Israel. My friends were mostly all Jewish except for a few public-school friends who lived in my neighborhood.

In many regards, I felt proud of my Jewish identity. My sister and I, both talented singers, were taught Yiddish and Hebrew songs which we were then requested to perform at synagogue sisterhood events. For Hebrew School graduation we had to submit an essay for a contest, “What My Hebrew School Education Means to Me.” I won first prize and still cherish the Judaic books I was awarded. Being recognized for my achievements by my Jewish community gave me a feeling of being part of something very special.

Being proud of my Judaism within my insular Jewish community felt comfortable, felt safe. The aspects of my life that exposed my religious activities remained gently submerged, not discussed with my public-school friends or larger community. I came to know from an early age that “we” were a minority and, therefore, had to exemplify proper morals and values. Jewish holidays were observed quietly in our home. No, we were not hiding our religious rituals, rather celebrating unobtrusively so as not to call attention to our practices.

Unlike Jews who grew up in New York neighborhoods, where most of the neighbors were Jewish, we lived among a majority of gentiles. I was taught to be respectful, not to antagonize, and not to openly display my Jewishness. My Mother refrained from hanging the wash out in the back yard on Sundays because the neighbors were observing their Sabbath. On Christian holidays we usually stayed home, complementing our neighbors on the Christmas lights adorning their houses, or how nice they looked as they strolled the neighborhood in their Easter finery. As a result, there was harmony in the community, everyone being respectful of one another.